Yes Lord, I trust you!

Wow! What a summer… First of all, let me just say that the Lord has taught me some of the effects of sin on our lives, how sad death truly is, and that it is good to trust in the Lord (though it has not been an easy lesson!).

First and foremost, I passed my summer class!!! I got my first C in college, but I am so grateful to not have to endure the 16 week version of Hell, also known as NUR 112. 😛 For the whole semester, God taught me how frail my own plans are apart from Him. The words of Psalm 127:1 were constantly in my mind this summer, “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” Even though I studied over 20 hours each week (btw, lecture was 8 hours, clinical = 20 hours, pre-clinical was 4 hours, work was almost non-existent), I could never have passed this class if the Lord’s hand was not with me. This lesson of implicit trust was not easy. I struggled against it for a long time. “If I just study more, I’ll eventually get it!” I thought. Yet no matter how long I studied, I still could not get a high enough grade to bring me up from my failing grade. With each test, I fought the insane, fearful thought that would whisper quietly, “You are going to fail…” At the halfway point, I finally realized there was nothing more I could do. If the Lord wanted me to retake this course, He would close enough doors to make it obvious to me. If He planned for me to pass, He would provide those opportunities. It took the final exam, which was 30% of my total grade, to get me over the passing mark! And God was asking me throughout the whole test, “Do you trust me?” My answer was not automatic or easy, but a knowing, “Yes, Lord!”

As if to make sure I had learned my lesson completely, Life threw another curveball at me. From now on, I have two 8-week classes for the last 2 semesters. However, during fall registration, I could not register for my first 8-week class due to “priority” students filling up almost half the seats. After many phone calls (and rudeness), I was told the only thing I could do was be put on a waiting list and pray someone dropped. Unless someone dropped the course, I would have to sit out 8 weeks. This would push me back another semester to graduate AND I would have to take ANOTHER summer class! Ugh! Not to mention the fact that I had to find two more classes just to keep me at full-time status so I didn’t lose my financial aid. Quite a lot do have to stress about after coming right back from vacation (and during the last few weeks of NUR 112!).

However, the lesson God had been teaching me all semester was not in vain. I finally came to peace about waiting 8 more weeks. Was I happy about being pushed back a semester? Hell no! Was I alright with having to wait a year before putting my application in to grad school? Not exactly. Was I sure God had a plan for all this “mess”? Yes!

So, I finally do what I can, register for extra classes, and decide to go to the first day of Maternity anyways. And you will never believe what I was greeted with by the instructor? THERE WAS AN OPENING!!! 🙂 I was literally jumping up and down with joy! And the best part: it was the same section as my best friend Sarah! I don’t think I stopped smiling all day! 🙂 🙂 🙂

In conclusion, I am exhausted from my 10 hour clinical day. I had an 8.5 lecture yesterday. I am behind on my readings. But, I have been learning my lesson that if God has a plan for you, He will see to it that it will be accomplished. I have learned that my plans are not infallible. I am a broken sinner. I have seen that in the hospitals and lectures every week. But, I have a God who is mighty to save and guide lost sheep back to the pastures of green. I have learned, though imperfectly, that I can make plans and set goals, but it is the Lord who makes them come about!

Praise God for loving us enough to send us His Son to save and guide lost sheep like me!


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